Heavy on the Self-Love: Life Update + with love affirmations Coming soon
Hey y’all! It’s me. I know it has been way too long since the last time I posted, but I will explain why! How have y’all been? Drop an emoji in the comments that expresses how you feel at this moment. I know a lot has been going on since we got hit with this pandemic, but I hope things continue to get better for you and yours.
Thank You, It’s All Love
Before getting into the life update, I wanna say a BIG thank you, to all those who reached out to me to check up, check in, and question when my next blog was coming! To know that people actually look forward to hearing from means A LOT! Best believe the best is yet to come and that’s starting with the new theme I selected for my blog!
Life Update (Highs + Lows of 2020)
Personal Lows
I never intended to take this long of a break away from connecting with you all and writing, but for the sake of my mental health, I really needed to take a break! Too much was going on at once that was affecting my mental and emotional health and in turn, began to affect my physical health. For starters, I was really trying to figure out the direction of my life. Should I apply to grad school or not? If so, what will I get my degree in? What college? Do I want to travel and explore more before going right back to the books especially since I now had an identity outside of Ekaila the student?
On top of that, I was at a job that had such a toxic environment that it was literally so draining each day and did not truly feel worth it with the pay and lack of benefits. I never wanted to leave somewhere so much in my life. I just felt so stuck. Why didn’t anyone tell me that adulting and truly trying to get into my career with decent pay is TOUGH! And then to add the cherry on top, my feelings weren’t in the best place either. I was emotionally hurt by a situation that just really took a toll on me and felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster that only I could end but just needed the strength to walk away. Okay rant over.
collective lows
Aside from my personal problems, we as a whole have literally been through HELL over the last year with people being ill and even dying due to to COVID-19, losing jobs (including myself), homelessness, not being able to walk for graduation or experience other senior year highlights (like my sister and Class of 2020), etc. My heart goes out to everyone and their stories foreal especially since I know how it is to feel like you’re drowning and there’s no way out. I don’t minimize anyone’s experience or the effects COVID-19 has had on everyone. I had some loved ones that tested positive months ago, and that was nerve wracking, so I can only imagine what others are going through.
HIGHS
On a positive note, I did graduate college (Spring 2019), started a job within my field (October 2020) and am now in the midst of transitioning from a Shelter Advocate to a Youth Advocate at this organization which is even more where my passion lies. I have been able to be in therapy where I have been self-reflecting and working on me. Also, I have been able to travel and be around family as we took my sister to college in Minnesota in August 2020, and I just got back a couple weeks ago from vacation in Las Vegas with my best friends. Straight Blessings on Blessings on Blessings! Check out some of my favorite pictures from our trip!
New Beginnings: Welcome Back to Kaila with an E
Let’s consider this a fresh beginning, and with fresh beginnings comes necessary change. Hopefully you all like my new layout. You may not even remember my old theme. lol. Creating genuine content is something I truly love to do, and I want to make sure my content stays that way regardless of what’s going on. I never want to put up a front like I’m perfect because I am not.
During my hiatus, I did take some time to just do nothing and be present with friends and family. Check out my Instagram, especially in my highlight reels, to see what I have been up to lately. I also began to really work on creating other goodies that will soon be for sale, I will talk more about that later. As I began to take some time to self-reflect with the help of my loved ones and therapy (therapy is important), I realized that the love I was so freely giving to others, I was not giving to myself.
Side note: If the last year isn’t enough to change your mind on the importance of therapy, then we have to talk some more.
Therapy really helped me this year. Find someone to talk to seriously. It may save your life and sanity! Anyways, there are multiple instances that I could think of where I put my thoughts and feelings to the side to make sure that friends and family knew I loved them and would do anything to make sure they were happy. During this time, I realized I was filling up everybody else’s love tank, while mine remained on E, like below E. It had me second-guessing my worth and showed me how much I tried to prove my worth to others.
Once I stopped searching for acceptance and love in others and started to focus on how I could love myself more, I began to become happier. I also began to notice and differentiate what things or situations were worth my energy and how to protect my good vibes more than ever! I elevated my game from my original post, Protecting Your Energy. My self-love increased physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Believe me, it was worth it!
A Little More Love
As I took time for myself, I began to work out at home and that eventually turned into me going to the gym and being more consistent with working out. This increased my love for my physical self. Next, I started showing myself love mentally and spiritually through doing breathing exercises, reading, listening to podcasts, and watching sermons such as Pastor Mike Todd at Transformation Church on YouTube. I’ve been more careful about what I allow myself to take in because of the effects that it has had on my mood and emotions.
Though I love a good love song, sometimes those songs put me way too deep in my feelings and have me sitting there overthinking everything the next 5 years of every relationship that I “may” have. The more I spend time pouring into myself, being honest with myself, and learning more about myself, the more I have been able to grow. I am not where I want to be as far as self-love goes, but I am not where I used to be, and I know I will continue to make the effort to grow. With that all being said, here comes the announcement!
Coming Soon…Stay Tuned!
I did all or most of those things to grow in my journey. One of the most important one was journaling. When I was away, I put together a guided self-love journal filled with prompts and reflection questions that have helped me in my self-love journey. I added affirmations cards, and ended up creating a second guided journal. I want to share these with you, and I hope they can help you reframe your thoughts about yourself and your own self-love just as much as they helped me. I am so excited that they will soon be published and released for sale.
Follow @withloveaffirmations on Instagram
Follow @withloveaffirmations on Instagram to stay in the know of when they will be available for preorder and also get tips on just loving yourself.
Also, I plan on going through the journal with you all! Let’s build momentum around self-love together.
Can’t wait to go through the journals with you all! Don’t forget to subscribe. Talk to you sooner than you think!
Don’t forget to drop an emoji in the comments that expresses how you feel at this moment!??
With Love,
