Have you ever thought about if you had to name this chapter of your life, what you would name it?
I have actually thought about more than one name for this chapter. I would call this chapter of my life either “God’s Plan” *in Drake’s voice* or “What if? More Like Even if.” I think both of these names really describe how I am learning to trust God’s plan over my own.
But don’t get me wrong. Sometimes, I still have a hard time remembering to let go of my control issues and fears enough for God to really guide my steps. Then I am reminded about how God has come through majorly in my life, especially during the darkest moments of my life, but trust I’ll get to that a little later. First, let me share how I have been doing.
What’s Really Good?
For some months last year, I struggled emotionally and mentally, mainly because I felt like I did not have my life together. By together, I mean, after graduation, I did not have a solid plan of what my next move would be. From graduate school to my career path to my living situation to relationships, if someone asked me, I probably would have tried to come up with something that sounded solid.
Not having a solid plan or idea of my next moves wasn’t the best feeling, but I know not knowing has caused me to put even more trust in God’s plan.
To add to this, let me just share a part of my story where God’s plan really switched things up and changed what seemed like the worst year of my life to the beginning of the best years of my life.
The Worst Best Year of my Life
Yes, I know the title of this section is an oxymoron, but honestly, that whole year didn’t make sense due to it feeling like losses were stacking up after a situation occurred (at first). I am not going into extreme detail about the situation that occurred that year cause some details won’t make or break my point of sharing, which is solely to highlight how God knows best.
In 2013, my comfortable life was switched all the way up. I went from being at my small private school and church to now being told my family and another family were no longer welcome to attend the church nor school.
You’re probably wondering why? The most simplified answer is because we decided to keep ties with an individual that the church leader felt should be cut off entirely due to some bad decisions they made. Mind you, we are all human.
So, when we found things out, my mom did not automatically follow the direction of the church to cut the person off. She sat us (my siblings and I) down and talked to us about how we would be showing the love of Christ to this individual and praying for them. But anyways, hearing the news of being “cut off” due to association was unbelievable at first.
A Hard Reality to Face
Let me explain how thrown off we were by this. Imagine pretty much growing up in a place. Let me put it this way. My little sister, Cierra, had been going to the church since she was nursey age and started attending the school in kindergarten (5 years old). We were “kicked” out in the middle of her 5th-grade year (10 years old). Again, we grew up in this place, so to be “kicked” out meant we were not going to be able to see our friends like that anymore, and the comfort of what we knew and loved was gone.
Fast forward a little more through this story, the following days after being initially “kicked” out of the church and school were the toughest days for me emotionally. I literally cried until I didn’t have anything left in me because I didn’t understand why this would happen, and why then.
It was tough to move on from all I knew. Remember, ALL my “friends” were at this church and school. I made some dumb decisions during that time, including staying in that toxic environment even longer to finish my sophomore year because of me thinking this isn’t real, and we are supposed to be at this church and school. I was trying to hold on to something that God wanted us to let go.
God’s Plan
God had something better in mind, but first, we had to trust Him and his timing. The more we trusted God, the more He began to show us that all things really do work for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).
Blessings on Blessings on Blessings
I switched schools at the beginning of my junior year of high school and began to focus on my next moves after high school. I believe that one of my biggest blessings out of this situation was some of the genuine people I met between my new school and church.
New School (West Oaks Academy)
At my new school, West Oaks Academy, I met this guy named Rich, who came from Canada to Florida with basketball in mind while I was just trying to finish out my last two years of high school, so I can dip and head to college. However, I think us ending up at this school at that exact time was no accident. Our friendship was solid during a time in our lives where we were both going through major changes and trying to adjust to new situations.
Along with meeting Rich, I met some cool teachers, a great principal, and other unique students from all across the globe. Big Shout out to Mr. Gillion, Ms. Neal (aka Mrs. Gillion), and Mr. Bertrand for making my time at West Oaks better. I believe that God brings people into your life at a specific time for a reason, and I am grateful that a rough time in life produced an opportunity for me to learn more about other cultures. But God did not just stop there with bringing me these people.
New Church Home (Church in the Son)
Along with new experiences at school, my family found a great church (Church in the Son) that had a great youth group (@themixorlando) and youth pastor (Pastor PJ) that really helped us connect. Church in the Son opened my mind to different kinds of churches because it was not about what you wore or what service you attended. Their focus was solely on “Loving God, Loving People, and Affecting the world.”
Let that Hurt Go
Just a quick side note. If you ever been church hurt or had a bad experience with a church, don’t let that be the end of you connecting with the body of Christ. Remember, the church is still filled with humans who make mistakes, and that’s not a direct reflection of Jesus and how He sees you. Don’t allow church hurt or offense to keep you from connecting with God through great people that can pray for you and really come through for you. Give that hurt to God and let it go. Letting go is all apart of learning to trust God’s plan.
Give that hurt to God and let it go. Letting go is all apart of learning to trust God's plan. Share on X
Seven Years Later (January 2020)
Looking back and reflecting on what felt like the worse year of my life has helped me to realize that I am actually in a great chapter of my life right now. Just like God came through in 2013 when I wasn’t sure what would happen next, I know that He will come through again in 2020 and again years to come with guiding my steps. His plans will always be better than my plans. So, I’ll write my plans in pencil, so that I am flexible and continue to embrace the beauty in my uncertainty and God’s certainty.
His plans will always be better than my plans. So, I'll write my plans in pencil, so that I am flexible and continue to embrace the beauty in my uncertainty and God's certainty. Share on X
I’ll continue to use these three verses as a reminder that God is intentional and working out everything for my good as I am learning to Trust God’s Plan, and I hope you do the same.
If you take away anything from this post, take away that what’s seem like the end could truly be the beginning of something greater than you could ever imagine.
So, back to my initial question, if you were to name this chapter in your life, what would you call it and why? Drop your response in the comments below!
Thanks for reading and much love!
