What would you do if you were not afraid and knew you could succeed?
Would you start that clothing business or develop that YouTube channel that you have wanted to do for so long? If you say yes, then what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams wholeheartedly? I think I can answer these questions with a four-letter word– fear. The way I describe fear is an imaginary room that appears to have no escape due to the darkness of doubt. Fear is a paralyzer that causes many people to remain complacent in their comfort zone rather than chasing their dreams.
I am one of those individuals who has lived in a constant state of fear. Fear of change and the unknown that comes with that change. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. It was the fear of stepping outside of my comfort zone that limited me from experiencing so many things, and I bet it has limited you in some way as well. There are so many forms of fear that can limit us. The list goes on and on and on, but what it all boils down to is fear is a barrier that holds us back from being great. For so long, I have lived my life with so many limits, and now I am deciding that it is time for me to live a little! I am making an effort to live a life where fear does not control or dictate my actions.
Being Transparent about my Fears
My first significant step in overcoming this fear is this very post on MY blog (I emphasize “my” because this is still surreal to me that it is up for everyone to see). I have had this blog for almost a year, and I did not publish until now because I feared my blog would not be good enough. I did so much research about everything blog-related and looked at how great other people’s blogs were that I psyched myself out and remained stagnant rather than using their growth as motivation.
But now, it’s my turn. The four letter word has turned into four words that consistently resonate in my mind– “This one’s for me.” To me, these words mean that now is my time to allow myself to experience life outside of the dark room of fear. I have learned some personal methods to overcome the fear that I would like to briefly share with you all in hopes that these can also help you live a little!
Tips to Overcoming Fears
1. Figure out the Root of your Fears. Fear is just a symptom of something deeper that has surfaced. For example, my fear of being rejected and failing (lacking perfection) stems from the weight of everyone around me telling me who I was for so long. “Ekaila, you’re the good girl who does no wrong” “There’s no way you failed you always make A’s” “if you did bad, I know I did terribly.” To the individuals who would say these things to me, these were compliments, but what they did not realize is the very pedestal of perfection they put me on has been the same high, unrealistic standard I have made for myself. Figuring out the root of the issue helps you to remedy not only the symptoms but also the actual problem.
2. Think about the Worst Case Scenario (Obstacles that Await). This may seem like it may do more harm in your journey to overcoming fear than good, but like my mom always asks me when I’m fearful, “what is the absolute worst possible thing that could happen if what you want to do doesn’t go well?” Asking yourself these questions makes you think about the possible outcomes and helps you realize that the worst case scenario in mind often isn’t as bad as it may seem.
One of my fears of starting this blog is that no one would read it, and I would not have the support. With the worst case scenario in mind, I realize if no one reads my blog, it’s not the end of the world. Everyone has to start from somewhere and work their way up. Even the most exceptional bloggers once had 0 subscribers and barely anyone viewing their content, but they made the necessary changes that come with experience and never gave up.
3. Plan your Work & Work your Plan.
Now that you have figured out why you are fearful and the possible obstacles that await, make an action plan and set some small goals that help you moved toward your dreams. With my blog, I told myself I was tired of being fearful and wasting my time, effort, and money after seeing that my domain name would soon expire if I don’t renew it. I plan to release my blog by the beginning of May. Me believing in myself through this blog is a graduation gift to myself.
These three steps have continually helped me overcome fears that have limited me for so long. Hopefully, you can personally use these tips even if you start with baby steps (at least you’re moving). So again, I pose the same question: What would you do if you were not afraid and knew you could succeed?
Feel free to share any fears that have kept you from accomplishing your goals. I would like to hear your personal experiences as we continue to Growth through Life together.
